This starts today: April 12, 2020 – April 12, 2021. Phase 1: April 12-October 12, 2020.
In my previous post, I committed myself to two things: writing on my blog every single day, and going on a Depth Year.
As I have said, I originally heard from the Depth Year in Kelly-Ann Maddox‘s Youtube Channel a few months ago. I didn´t think much of the idea then. I suppose somehow I told myself that was not for me, and that was the end of it. Until now.
And so it goes. Yesterday I made a note of all the different expenses I have every month. I realised two things: most of my expenses are for “adult” things. So things are not that bad, apparently.
The problem is: I make a decent amount of money in my job (well, before the quarantine) and every pay day, after putting money aside for rent and other important stuff, it seems my mission in life is to find out where to spend the rest of the money.
It really feels as if money was burning my hands and I really needed to put it elsewhere.
I have come to realise, that I have been working for many years in creating abundance in y life, and I have become a very abundant person. I don’t work long hours, or particularly hard, and I make enough money to pay a rent in a lovely place, with lots of parks and trees; I can buy my groceries in the nice supermarket near my house if I want to, I can afford to buy tons of books (most of which I don’t read).
So yes, I have managed to fill the cup, frequently, endlessly. But I don’t seem to manage to keep it full for very long. And it’s not a matter of being stingy, but a matter of being able to construct a future for myself.
In the end you can reduce it to this (many books say it): you say you want something but complain that you can’t get it because you have no money. But you don’t look around to see that there are leaks everywhere, and that you are putting all the value in ephemeral, immediate things.
So I need to work with this area of my life. Continue creating money, but hold on to it, long enough that it gets stronger and bigger and you can build something with it.
My DEPTH YEAR will take place in two stages. This decision was inspired by what Kelly-Ann did. I am partly making this decision because I am scared of the withdrawal symptoms. The mere thought of not being able to buy any of the things that bring me joy scares me, and saddens me. But I would also like not to be dependent on things to get joy, or to feel satisfaction.
I want to feel joy and satisfaction from what I create instead.
So it will go like this:
THINGS I CAN SPEND MONEY ON:
- electricity bill
- my parents’ phone bill
- dog and cat food
- vet services (when necesssary)
- mobile phone service
- credit card payments
- taxes (sadly)
- cat litter
- house products (cleaning, washing)
THINGS I CANNOT SPEND MONEY ON:
- tarot decks
- stationery (in general: I have a huge drawer full of pens, highlighters, markers, sticky notes, notebooks)
- food that can be bought much more cheaply from the market (cheese, fancy lemons, vegetables).
- car sharing services (except for emergencies OR my last appointment with the nutritionist, I wouldn’t be able to reach her any other way).
- food delivery services (unless somebody else pays, hehe 😉 )
- I had already pre-ordered Kelly-Ann Maddox’s book, which will be published in October.
2. And if there is something special I want for my birthday (I’m thinking maybe a tarot reading).
3. There is a Tarot deck that I had already ordered, and it is on its way now.
And that’s that.
I think doing this Depth Year will force me to go to to my own strength and resources. Meditation has helped me to shut the world outside and enter my own soul and mind and find out who am I and what tools I already have.
But buying has been my escape for so long. And being forced to look inside, to take the books that I already have, to write in the notebooks that have been sitting on my shelves for years, will help me focus and channel my energy into something new, and my money into what I want: a home, and travel.
And as of today, Sunday April 12th, I commit myself to this Depth Year and to report my findings, developments and drawbacks.
Walk with me, and see what happens!!