Let us continue where we left off yesterday with my reading from The Wild Unknown Archetypes Deck. The Pilgrim card said I was a pilgrim, it said it was my mission to move, to find the new, to experiment.
The second card is the Place, the background of my journey, where the story takes place.
And The Place for me, where I am meant to be walking on my path is the Box. How fitting, I thought. I have trouble thinking of anything more contrary to The Pilgrim than The Box. Nothing seems more limiting, more constraining than a Box.
The Box means little room to manoeuvre, it means not being able to see further than the four walls which surround me. It means not being able the floor I’m really standing on or the sky above. It means not being able to feel the wind blow, hear birds fly. It means not being able to smell or taste freedom.
But the Box can also be a good place, I suppose. It feels comfortable, it has been mapped, and in many cases, it is the same Box that has been inhabited by many of our ancestors.
Yes, being in The Box is not necessarily a bad thing. At times, it is something that you need to explore, an obstacle that you need to overcome, a protective nest where you can dwell in while you heal your wounds.
But The Box is dangerous too, especially when we cannot see it, when we are living inside it but we don’t know it. When we accept it as the only possible world.
There something that is even worse than being in The Box unwittingly, and it is being in The Box willingly, when we know we should have left long time ago. It is painful to leave what we know, what we love, where we grow and what makes us feel comfortable and safe.
Sometimes it’s sad to put our hopes on people or situations because we think they will be going outside of The Box with us. And it’s also scary to think that once we leave it, we won’t be able to go back to it. And that is why we sometimes decide not not leave the box, although it is clear that we cannot even move inside it.
Throughout our lives, we might be inside many different types fo boxes. Sometimes we find ourselves able to break through the walls of a particular box, while we feel weak and terrified to move away from another. This is normal, and I think the boxes need to be dealt with one at a time.
As I said, it is even worse to stay inside The Box because you’re willing to be there, despite knowing you should already have flown elsewhere. And I believe this is also something where my anger is deeply engrained. I have been waiting for people to do things that they were never willing to do (not that they had to) and thus I haven’t left a Box which I am pretty sure is wide open for me to leave, and it has been so for a very long time.
I have waited for others to join me in part to share with them the beauty I see outside, and in part because I have been afraid to go it alone. I have stayed in The Box (or rather, I’ve been in and out of it several times) because I have been afraid to lose people, to lose safety, to lose comfort.
And once I have realised these two aspects about myself, I know it only takes for me to stretch my wings and fly.
We’ll talk tomorrow, and we’ll move on to The Tools position in the Inner Quest spread.