Changing habits

Photo by Alina Vilchenko on Pexels.com

I know I promised a post on my Archetypes reading, but that will have to happen tomorrow, when I have more time.

For now, I have small reflection on my habits and my responsibilities.

As I shared before, I have dedicated many, many years of my life to work. And it has been worked I fairly enjoyed, and that I learnt to do very well.

But this work , this job, has always consumed a lot of time. Firstly, because when I am teaching it is hard to be doing something else, my students would notice (hehe). Secondly, because I also spend time, lots of time, preparing lessons, or getting ready for lessons. And then I have little time to do anything else.

Two examples of this? My meditation practice and my writing. I have been meditating every day for 750 days now, and I have had periods when I meditate two or three times a day, and other times, like right now, when I meditate for roughly ten minutes.

Writing? That I cannot do in ten minutes, even very simple things like this take a long time, for I haven’t written anything in many, many years.

But these two things, that are the most important and nourishing in my life, are left to be done at the last minute, when I am generally tired or worried that I should be going to bed because I work in the morning.

I feel like I have achieved so much because I am doing these two beautiful things, but still I am only giving them the remains of my day, when I should be making them the central part. Right now I feel that I am only giving them stolen moments.

What I have decided to do is to to change this routine. I plan to meditate and write as soon as I wake up, which means I’ll have to get up about an hour earlier, but it also means I can go to bed earlier too.

I feel very resistant to do this, because from time to time (I think due to a mild depression), I really don’t want to get up in the morning. But perhaps getting up for something I love instead of getting up because I have to work will change everything.

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